Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr About Girls : February 2014

Thursday 27 February 2014

Funny Quotes From Movies Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr About Girls Wallpapers For Kids Tagalog

Source:- Google.com.pk

1.   “There's only two things I hate in this world. People who are intolerant of other
      people's cultures and the Dutch.”
      Goldmember (2002) – Nigel Powers (Michael Caine)

2.   “I'm sure that we can handle this situation maturely, just like the responsible adults
      that we are. Isn't that right, Mr. Poopy Pants?”
      The Naked Gun 2 ½: The Smell of Fear (1991) – Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen)

3.   “I'm a mog - half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend.”
      Spaceballs (1987) – Barf (John Candy)

4.   “I couldn't believe it was her. It was like a dream. But there she was, just as I
      remembered her. That delicately beautiful face. And a body that could melt a cheese
      sandwich from across the room. And breasts that seemed to say...”Hey! Look at
      these!"”
      The Naked Gun 2 ½: The Smell of Fear (1991) – Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen)

5.   “We Romans are rich. We've got a lot of gods. We've got a god for everything. The
      only thing we don't have a god for is premature ejaculation but I hear that's coming
      quickly.” 
      History of the World Part I (1981) – Comicus (Mel Brooks)

6.   “Dear Lillian, soon I hope to take you on a Caribbean cruise, where we can hold
      hands on a soft summer's evening and watch that old Jamaican moon. Why that old
      Jamaican will be mooning us, I have no idea.” 
      Brain Donors (1992) – Roland T. Flakfizer (John Turturro)

7.   “I once stole a pornographic book that was printed in Braille. I used to rub the dirty
      parts.” 
      Bananas (1971) – Fielding Mellish (Woody Allen)

8.   “Attention. Here's an update on tonight's dinner. It was veal. I repeat, veal. The
      winner of tonight's mystery meat contest is Jeffrey Corbin who guessed ‘some kind of
      beef.’” 
      Meatballs (1979) – Tripper (Bill Murray)

9.   “There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your
      flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?” 
      Airplane (1980) – Elaine Dickinson (Julie Hagerty)

10. “Even Oedipus didn't see his mother coming.” 
      Basic Instinct 2 (2006) – Catherine Tramell (Sharon Stone)

11. “Time wounds all heels.” 
      Go West (1940) – S. Quentin Quale (Groucho Marx)

12. “Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic and so am I.” 
      What About Bob? (1991) – Bob Wiley (Bill Murray)

13. “For just one night let’s not be co-workers. Let's be co-people.”
      Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004) – Ron Burgundy (Will Ferrell)

14. “I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of
      elderberries. Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time." 
      Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975) – French Soldier (John Cleese)

15. “What did one shepherd say to the other shepherd? Let’s get the flock out of here.”
      Lethal Weapon (1987) – Martin Riggs (Mel Gibson)

16. “God gave men brains larger than dogs' so they wouldn't hump women's legs at
      cocktail parties.” 
      Hackers (1995) – Kate Libby (Angelina Jolie)

17. “The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty.” 
      Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989) – Cliff Stern (Woody Allen)

18. “Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or
      something, I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.” 
      Dumb and Dumber (1994) – Harry Dunne (Jeff Daniels)

19. “I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my
      socks.” 
      A Night at the Opera (1935) – Otis B. Driftwood (Groucho Marx)

20. “I’m kind of psychic. I have a fifth sense. It’s like I have ESPN or something.” 
      Mean Girls (2004) – Karen Smith (Amanda Seyfried)

21. “Time marches on and sooner or later you realize it is marching across your face.”
      Steel Magnolias (1989) – Truvy (Dolly Parton)

22. “Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.” 
      Animal House (1978) – Dean Wormer (John Vernon)

23. "A jester unemployed is nobody's fool." 
      The Court Jester (1955) - Hubert Hawkins (Danny Kaye)

24. “Some people play hard to get. I play hard to want.” 
      The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990) – Ford Fairlane (Andrew Dice Clay)

25. “Women need a reason for having sex, men just need a place.”
      City Slickers (1991) - Mitch Robbins (Billy Crystal)

26. “When women go wrong, men go right after them.”
      She Done Him Wrong (1933) – Lady Lou (Mae West)

27. “To do then now would be retro. To do then then was very now-tro, if you will.”
      A Mighty Wind (2003) – Mark Shubb (Harry Shearer)

28. “Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.” 
      Annie Hall (1977) – Alvy Singer (Woody Allen)

29. “I don't date these girls because they're well-read. I gave one of them a copy of
      "Farewell to Arms". She thought it was a diet book.”
      The Mirror Has Two Faces (1996) – Henry Fine (George Segal)

30. “Instead of the mahi mahi, may I just get the one mahi because I’m not that hungry?”
      The House Bunny (2008) - Shelley Darlingson (Anna Faris)

31. “If I'm not back in five minutes, just wait longer.” 
      Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994) – Ace Ventura (Jim Carrey)

32. “Do you know who I used to be?”
      The Producers (1968) - Max Bialystock (Zero Mostel)

33. “I was thrown out of NYU my freshman year for cheating on my metaphysics final. I
      looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me.”
      Annie Hall (1977) – Alvy Singer (Woody Allen)

34. “You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, which doesn't say much for you.” 
      Animal Crackers (1930) – Captain Spaulding (Groucho Marx)

35. “If we bury you ass up, I’ve got a place to park my bike”.    
      Patch Adams (1998) – Patch Adams (Robin Williams)

36. “When God created woman, he gave her not two breasts but three. When the middle one
      got in the way, God performed surgery. Woman stood before God, with the middle breast
      in hand. Said, ‘What do we do with the useless boob?’, and God created man.” 
      A Prairie Home Companion (2006) – Dusty (Woody Harrelson)

37. “I have an interesting case. I'm treating two sets of Siamese twins with split
      personalities. I'm getting paid by eight people.” 
      Zelig (1983) – Leonard Zelig (Woody Allen)

38. “During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were
      compelled to live on food and water for several days.”
      My Little Chickadee (1940) – Cuthbert J. Twillie (W.C. Fields)

39. “I think most Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.”
      So I Married an Axe Murderer (1993) – Charlie Mackenzie (Mike Myers)

40. “I have here an accident policy that will absolutely protect you no matter what happens.
      If you lose a leg, we'll help you look for it.”
      A Night at the Opera (1935) – Otis B. Driftwood (Groucho Marx)

41. "Normally, someone would have to go to a bowling alley to meet someone of your
      stature."
      Arthur (1981) - Hobson (John Gielgud)

42. “Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I never tried.” 
      Klondike Annie (1936) – The Frisco Doll (Mae West)

43. “Like a midget at a urinal, I was going to have to stay on my toes.” 
      Naked Gun 33 ½ : The Final Insult (1994) – Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen)

44. “You know, my mother never had time for me. When you're the middle child in a
      family of five million, you don't get any attention."
      Antz (1998) - Z (Woody Allen)

45. “I was married. My husband cheated on me left and right. One day he tells me it's my
      fault he saw other women. So I picked up a knife, and told him it was his fault I was
      stabbing him.” 
      Living Out Loud (1998) – Liz Bailey (Queen Latifah) 

46. “Excuse me, sir. Seeing as how the V.P. is such a V.I.P., shouldn't we keep the P.C.
      on the Q.T.? 'cause if it leaks to the V.C. he could become a M.I.A. and then we'd all
      be put out on K.P.”.  
      Good Morning Vietnam (1987) – Adrian Cronauer (Robin Williams)

47. "I'm Al Gore, I used to be the next president of the United States.” 
      An Inconvenient Truth (2006) – Al Gore (himself)

48. “I know, I know. We are your chosen people. But once in a while can't you choose
      someone else?”
      Fiddler on the Roof (1971) – Tevye (Topol)

49. “Don’t ever hit your mother with a shovel. It leaves a dull impression on her mind.”
      Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969) – Butch Cassidy (Paul Newman)

50. “Which reminds me of the time an Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman, a Vicar, a Rabbi
      and a Priest all go into a bar and the barman looks up and says 'Is this a joke?'”
      Keeping Mum (2005) – Rev. Walter Goodfellow (Rowan Atkinson )

Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr About Girls Wallpapers For Kids Tagalog

Funny Quote Of The Day Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr About Girls Wallpapers For Kids Tagalog

Source:- Google.com.pk

“If you feel like doing some work, sit down and wait…

The feeling does go away.”

“If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask?"

~Scott Adams

“There are many who dare not kill themselves for fear of what the neighbors will say.”

~Cyrill Connolly

“Don’t ever wrestle with a pig.

You'll both get dirty, but the pig will enjoy it.”

~Cole Yarborough

“If you drop a white glove into the mud, the glove will get muddy. But the mud will never get glovey.”

“If you need a helping hand, there is one at the end of your arm.”~Audrey Hepburn

“If you live to be a hundred. I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.”

~Winnie the Pooh

“If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.”~Earl Wilson

“What happens to the hole when the cheese is gone?”

~Berlott Brecht

“The tooth fairy teaches children that they can sell body parts for money.”

~David Richerby

“In God we trust. All others bring data.”

~Dr. Edwards Deming

“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life. Unless I buy something.”

~Jackie Mason

“I like work; it fascinates me, I can sit back and look at it for hours.”

~Jerome K. Jerome

“If it weren't for my lawyer, I'd still be in prison. It went a lot faster with two people digging.”

~Joe Martin

“In mathematics, you don’t understand things, you just get used to them.”

~Johann Von Neumann

“A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.”

~Joseph Stalin

“After one look at this planet, any visitor from outer space would say: ‘I want to see the manager’.”

~William S. Burroughts

“A conclusion is the place where you get tired thinking.”

~Martin H. Fischer

“I never apologize. I'm sorry, but that’s just the way I am.”

~Homer Simpson

“Time is that quality of nature which keeps events from happening all at once. Lately, it doesn’t seem to be working.”

“Why does the air force need expensive new bombers? Have the people we’ve been bombing over the years been complaining?”

~George Wallace

“Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.”

~Marie Von

“This sentence contradicts itself…

No actually it doesn’t.”

~Douglas Hofstadter

“Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.”

~Albert Einstein

“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”

~Albert Einstein

“War isn't about dying for your country. It’s about making the other bastard die for his.”

“By the time you figure out all of life’s answers, they’ll change the questions.”

“It’s a mystery of parenthood that your son can give mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to a stray, worm-riddled dog, share a piece of re-chewed gum from a kid with bronchitis and pick his nose and eat it on a regular basis, yet won't sit next to his sister because of ‘Girl Germs’.”

~Kathy Lette

1. People who point at their wrist asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their a** to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn Right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

5. When people say while watching a film, "did ya see that?" No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor!

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"... Didn't give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8. When people say "life is short". What the hell??? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!!! What can you do thats longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came, would I be standing here???

Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr About Girls Wallpapers For Kids Tagalog

Funny Quotes To Live By Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr About Girls Wallpapers For Kids Tagalog

Source:- Google.com.pk

Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.: -A. Whitney Brown
I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.: - Stephen Wright
When they asked George Washington for his ID, he just took out a quarter.: - Stephen Wright.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.: --Sue Murphy
I don't kill flies but I like to mess with their minds. I hold them above globes. They freak out and yell, 'Whoa, I'm way too high!': -Bruce Baum
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.: - Ellen DeGeners.
The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.: - Salvador Dali (1904-1989)
Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.: - Aldous Huxley (1894-1963)
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.: - Frank Lloyd Wright (1868-1959)
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.: - Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
You can observe a lot by just watching.: - Yogi Berra
The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.: - Walter Bagehot
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.: - Yogi Berra
He who sleeps on the floor will not fall off the bed.: - Robert Gronock.
Like math? We could add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide our legs, and multiply!: - Frank
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever.: - Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss Universe contest
Contrary to popular belief, "Damn It" is not God's last name.: (Construction wall, Philadelphia, 1969)
I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me.: - Elayne Boosler
Wherever I go, people are waving at me. Maybe if I do a good job, they'll use all their fingers.: - Frank King, Winter Olympic Games organizing committee chairman.
Sometimes you're the windshield; sometimes you're the bug.: - Mark Knopfler.
America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin for a dollar and use it up in two weeks.: - Barrymore.
Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?: - Mork, Mork and Mindy
As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.: - Dick Cavett
When you come to a fork in the road, take it!: - Yogi Berra
If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.: - Dan Quayle
Congratulations to American Astronaut Shannon Lucid, she now holds the American record for most time in space. Of course, the old record was held by Jerry Garcia.": - Spaceballs (Dark Helmet)
The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.: - W. C. Fields.
It is generally agreed that "Hello" is an appropriate greeting because if you entered a room and said "Goodbye," it could confuse a lot of people.: - Dolph Sharp
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.: - Golda Meir (1898-1978) to a visiting diplomat
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.: - Thomas Alva Edison (1847-1931)
I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.: - Katherine Cebrian
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.: - Robert Orben
Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.: - Woody Allen
Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.: - Dave Barry
Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today? (1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War. (2) Advising the President. (3) Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin.: - David Letterman
Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone.: - Tommy Cooper
It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.: - Darrin Weinberg
Lady Astor: "Mr. Churchill, you're drunk!" Winston Churchill: "Yes, and you, Madam, are ugly. But tomorrow, I shall be sober."
I tried to think but nothing happened!: - Curly
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.: - Jon Hammond
If your parents never had children, chances are... neither will you.: - Dick Cavett
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.: - Fletcher Knebel
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.: - Carl Friedrich Gauss (1777-1855), while working, when informed that his wife is dying
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.: - Thomas Watson (1874-1956), Chairman of IBM, 1943
The covers of this book are too far apart.: - Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?: - Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865); Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr About Girls Wallpapers For Kids Tagalog; Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr About Girls Wallpapers For Kids Tagalog; Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr About Girls Wallpapers For Kids Tagalog; Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr About Girls Wallpapers For Kids Tagalog; Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr About Girls Wallpapers For Kids Tagalog; Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr About Girls Wallpapers For Kids Tagalog; Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr About Girls Wallpapers For Kids Tagalog; Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr About Girls Wallpapers For Kids Tagalog; Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr About Girls Wallpapers For Kids Tagalog; Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr About Girls Wallpapers For Kids Tagalog; Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr About Girls Wallpapers For Kids Tagalog; Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr About Girls Wallpapers For Kids Tagalog; Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr About Girls Wallpapers For Kids Tagalog; Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr About Girls Wallpapers For Kids Tagalog; Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr About Girls Wallpapers For Kids Tagalog; Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr About Girls Wallpapers For Kids Tagalog

Wednesday 26 February 2014

Funny Friend Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr About Girls Wallpapers For Kids Tagalog

Source:- Google.com.pk

Ralph Waldo Emerson
A friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.

Lord Samuel
A friend in need is a friend to be avoided.

Groucho Marx
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Erma Bombeck, Family: The Ties that Bind ... And Gag!
Friends are "annuals" that need seasonal nurturing to bear blossoms. Family is a "perennial" that comes up year after year, enduring the droughts of absence and neglect. There's a place in the garden for both of them.

Oscar Wilde
A true friend stabs you in the front.

Jim Hayes
An old friend will help you move. A good friend will help you move a dead body.

Ralph Waldo Emerson
It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.

Christian Slater
I just killed my best friend... and my worst enemy. What's the difference?

Malcom Bradbury
I've noticed your hostility towards him... I ought to have guessed you were friends.

Bronwyn Polson
Whoever says Friendship is easy has obviously never had a true friend!

Groucho Marx
When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun.'

Groucho Marx
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

Jerry Seinfeld, in The Bizarro Jerry
Why would anybody want a friend?

Jerry Seinfeld
It reminds me of like this pathetic friend that everybody had when they were a little kid who would let you borrow any of his stuff if you would just be his friend. That's what the library is. A government funded pathetic friend.

Erma Bombeck
A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.

Anne Lindbergh
Men kick friendship around like a football and it doesn't seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it falls to pieces.

George Carlin
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.

Bing Crosby
There is nothing in the world I wouldn't do for (Bob) Hope, and there is nothing he wouldn't do for me ... We spend our lives doing nothing for each other.

10. Best friends loan out DVDs knowing that they’ll never be seen again.
9. A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked. - Bernard Meltzer
8. Good friends offer a shoulder when you need to cry. Best friends are there with a shovel to beat up who made you cry.
7. Best Friends don’t let you do stupid things . . . alone !
6. There are two kinds of friends in the world: the ones who help you up when you’ve passed out in a bar and call a cab and the ones that take ‘funny’ pictures of you.
5. A true friend stabs you in the front. – Oscar Wilde
4. You can’t be best friends without insulting each other constantly.
3. An good friend will help you move. But best friend will help you move a dead body. – Jim Hayes
2. Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another,”What! You too? I thought I was the only one.” – C.S Lewis
1. When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. But a best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun!” - Groucho Marx

In prosperity our friends know us; in adversity we know our friends.

― John Churton Collins

The best friendship quotes

I have lost friends, some by death, others through sheer inability to cross the street

― Virginia Woolf

funny friendship quotes

Anybody can sympathise with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathise with a friend's success

― Oscar Wilde

funny friendship quotes

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one

― C.S. Lewis

Hilarious friendship quotes

A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked

― Abraham Lincoln

witty friendship quotes

You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog

― Harry Truman

best funny friendship quotes

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim

― George Carlin

funny friendship quotes

We must hang together, or surely we shall hang separately

― Benjamin Franklin

funny friendship quotes

When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'

― Groucho Marx

very funny friendship quotes

The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends thought I didn't exist

― Aaron Machado

The best friendship quotes

My mother used to say that there are no strangers, only friends you haven't met yet. She's now in a maximum security old-age home in Australia

― Dame Edna Everage

funny friendship quotes

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from a mental illness. Look at your 3 best friends. If they're ok, then it's you

― Rita Mae Brown

Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr About Girls Wallpapers For Kids Tagalog