Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr About Girls : Funny T Shirt Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr About Girls Wallpapers For Kids Tagalog

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"Crazy is a relative term in my family!"

"Men, chocolate, and coffee are all better rich. "

"Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to."

"Procrastinate now, don't put it off. "

"Caution, Blind Man Driving. "

"All trespassers will be shot on sight. All survivors will then be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.Have a nice day! "

"I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize. "

"Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back. "

"Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film! "

"42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot. "

"A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good. "

"A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. "

"The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up. "

"All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand. "

"I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met. "

"OK, so what's the speed of dark? "

"If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. "

"Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. "

"When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. "

"Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. "

"Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now. "

"I intend to live forever -- so far, so good. "

"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. "

My mechanic told me,"I couldn't repair your brakes,so I made your horn louder."

"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. "

"A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking. "

"Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. "

"To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. "

"Don't drink and drive you might spill your beer"

"If you can't fix it with duck tape you have'nt used enough "

"Smile, and the world will smile with you.
Laugh and they'll all think your on drugs. "

"I'll be sober tomorrow but you'll be ugly for the rest of your life. "

"Where there's a will, there's a way.And where there's a way, then there's usually a stop sign somewhere along the road."

"I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on ebay."

"The Earth Is Full - Go Home. "

"So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time. "

"Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult. "

"Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway. "

"Illiterate? Write For Help "

"You! Out Of The Gene Pool - Now! "

"Fight Crime: Shoot Back! "

"Boldly Going Nowhere. "

"Caution - Driver Legally Blonde. "

"Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window. "

"GROW YOUR OWN DOPE --- PLANT A BLONDE. "

"All Men Are Animals; Some Just Make Better Pets. "

"POLITICIANS & DIAPERS BOTH NEED TO BE CHANGED, AND FOR THE SAME REASON"

"Those who think they know everything, annoy those of us that do "

"Save the environment...plant a Bush back in Texas. "

"Don't regret doing things, regret getting caught "

"None of us are virgins, life has screwed us all "

"Everyone in life has a purpose, even if its to serve as a BAD EXAMPLE "

"We didn’t lose.....we just ran out of time"

"Here officer, hold my beer while I find my license."

"There are some days when I just don't feel like talking.. Today is that day. "

"The only reason that I talk to myself is because that I'm the only one whose answers I accept."

"Learn from the mistakes of others, because you can't live long enough to make them all yourself."

"Men are like pennies: two-faced and worthless."

"Love is like heaven but hurts like hell."

"Look up for inspiration, down for concentration but don’t look side to side for information".

"I did my homework! I just forgot to write it down."

"Some people drink from the fountain of knowledge, others just gurgle."

"When they put unknown at the end of a quote, that means they probably don't no how to spell anonymous"

"I'll kill you until you die!!"

"They misunderestimated me!"
-George W. Bush"

"Don't criticize my mess unless you'd like to become part of it."

"I have a mind like a steel trap; it is rusty and illegal in 47 states"

"A good essay is 10% inspiration, 15% perspiration, and 75% desperation"

"I'm an angel, honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo straight"

"There's nothing wrong with being a loser, it just depends on how good you are at it."

"If at first you don't succeed, cheat, repeat until caught, and then lie!"

"Thank-you for visiting reality, come again........... Now entering your life, welcome"

"Consciousness- that annoying time between naps"

"Behind every good man there is a good woman and behind
that another man looking at her ass"

"It takes 42 muscels to smile, so instead pick up your middle finger and
say bite me in a bitchy tone!"

"Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder"

"I can see clearly now, the brain is gone... "

Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr About Girls Wallpapers For Kids Tagalog